You're a mean one Mr. Grinch

Today is Christmas Eve, and time has run out for me to muster up some holiday spirit. I don't know if it is the lack of snow or the hovering feeling of an end, (An end of one part of my life and the beginning of something new. Something very different for my life.) whatever it is, I just haven't been able to get excited about Christmas this year. Perhaps it has something to do with not doing some of the things I usually do around this time. I didn't put up a Christmas tree, or any other decorations for that matter, and instead of watching classic movies like Holiday Inn, It's a Wonderful Life, Mr. Krueger's Christmas, White Christmas, and the sort, I have been watching Harry Potter. No matter, tomorrow is Christmas, and I am looking forward to it more now, than I have before today. Still, that isn't much. I think, I will go hunting for Christmas lights tonight while listening to Josh Groban's Noël and Michael Bublé's Christmas, before Megan and I exchange gifts. I think it will help me get into a more Christmas-y mood. 

I haven't done a lot of filming lately. It isn't that interesting things haven't happened, but more that I haven't had my camera with me, or on at the very least. I have been alone quite a bit packing and cleaning to move apartments; two activities that are not very interesting for you to watch. I have so many things to go through and decide what I want to keep, what is worth storing, and what should be trashed or just given away. Then I have to go through the keep pile and ask myself what will be going with me, and what I will be leaving behind. 

All of these decisions certainly haven't been helping my emotions. Not that I am extremely emotionally attached to my things. Although I am attached to some degree, otherwise I wouldn't have the things I do, but it has been extremely draining just going through it all.  Somethings I look around my room and fear I am a hoarder in the making, which scares the tar out of me. I want to just throw it all out sometimes and just start from scratch. In the end however, I know that would be even more taxing. 

Speaking of being scared, I had a bit of a melt down on Sunday. I am not super scared about going, but mostly it I will be able to maintain the life-style I  so enjoy here.  I want to integrate the German way of life  into my own life, but I do live a little differently. I am or really more was that I wouldn't  be able to live the same way I do here in some instances. For example, I go to church every Sunday, and it is really important to me, that I go every week.  Now, I have been able to calm down I am not as frightened anymore. I know that if it is important to me to go, I will really be able to go.  So anyways...

I will be putting up the small amount of footage I have soon, and maybe I will add to it tonight and tomorrow a little. I will see what I can do about having something else for New Year's. I will be going to a big party New Year's Eve, so I will at least have some footage of that. Well, that is all for today.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!! :)